18 August 2009

This FireCat Reserved for Private Party

You may have noticed that this blog disappeared for a few weeks. No, there was not a glitch in the Matrix. I was being taught a lesson, or so I was informed.

Without going into the details that would give undeserved attention and detract from my ultimate point (there will be one, I promise; in six years together, Scully, have I ever been wrong?) I was being moderately cyberstalked. I knew who the person was. I have never met her personally, but we have had quite a bit of interaction in the past several years on several related internet forums. Apparently this person maintains a grudge against several people who frequent these forums because she feels that her privacy was invaded, and she felt I was as good a target as any to take one for the team, so she began posting my blog address all over the god-knows-where of creation. Her intent was to violate my privacy, so that I might presumably know what it felt like to be her (though how she thought she was going to violate my privacy by encouraging traffic to a professional writer's already public blog, I'll never know--I might as well thank her for the free advertising).

However, she miscalculated one thing: the only way she can violate my privacy is if I allow it to be violated. I have nothing to hide on this blog. Or anywhere else, for that matter. I have written about the things that shame me, but I have done so knowing that I am writing in public. I have made the utmost effort in my writings not to violate the privacy of others--my parents and siblings, my students, my beloved husband, my best friend (whose life occasionally literally depends on the collective silence of those who know him) and the many others held dear to me. (You know who you are, because mostly you're the ones who noticed when my blog went missing!)

Regardless of the point she was trying to make, wherein she to this day earnestly believes she has taught me and others a lesson (really? really-really?), she fails again to absorb the larger lesson being offered: everything offers a chance for forgiveness and growth. But you have to be willing to put down your grudges to take the blessing. You'll need both hands free to accept its grace.