26 January 2008

Pandemonium at the Exploding Sheep Shop

If I had to use one word to describe my life right now, since pffffffht! is more of a sound effect I would have to say that miscellaneous does the job pretty well. Is everything the same as it was five weeks ago when last I managed to log in? Hell no. Has anything actually occurred in the interim? No, not really. Am I flying around ass-over-teakettle and occasionally putting my underwear on sideways? You betcha.

That's a true story, by the way. It's amazing how misinterpreting a single foundation garment when getting dressed for work can mess with your personal feng shui for the whole day, until suddenly, during a quiet moment in the late afternoon, it all becomes stunningly clear why you've been verhoodled since you got dressed.

Then again, maybe it wasn't my underwear. Maybe my underwear was doing okay, and I put the world on sideways yesterday. I wouldn't put it past me, considering the way the world's been acting of late. A small list, to demonstrate the sort of non-accomplishments with which my life is riddled this winter:

+my hips have been living in different time zones, but my chiropractor's dog seems to have cured me of this affliction temporarily
+I can knit socks! I am a knitting genius!
+I managed to drive into a brick wall while the car was off, in neutral, not moving, and I wasn't in it. This is the general consensus, anyway. The car's not telling.
+political protests might actually be a form of community service
+for three days at the beginning of January, all my internal organs were temporarily replaced with ginger ale dispensers
+there is a direct proportion between the percentage of your brain convincing your body that you are going to die from speed workouts and the endorphin rush you will get when you are done. Also the amount your nose will run while doing this in the snow
+a one-page statement on your teaching philosophy is a lot easier to write if you know what your philosophy actually is. Or, indeed, have one.
+Foxes. Lots of them.

I mean, really. My resemblance to the late Anne Boelyn is starting to be rather alarming.

8 comments:

Devil Mood said...

Well, you are funny, I'll give you that. Were you this funny 5 weeks ago? ;)

keith hillman said...

Too funny!!! Great fun.

gautami tripathy said...

Welcome back! With a great post!

LOL!

Robin said...

The underwear story cracked me up (no pun intended), and I really liked the way you followed it up by suggesting that perhaps the underwear was on right and the world was on sideways.

Great stuff.

Stacy said...

Welcome back.....maybe this posting should be your teaching philosophy. I've read plenty of teaching philosophies and few are as good as this.

Endorphins are a great and wonderful thing.

tumblewords said...

A delightful tale - and I think you are right - it's highly possible the world is sideways! An enjoyable read!

bipolarbear said...

Welcome back! Hurray for socks! Are you on Ravelry yet?

thefirecat said...

No, because I suck. :)