14 July 2010

What in Plaid Rabbit Hell? Again? (30 days ago)

I woke up this morning at 5 AM with a painfully familiar feeling in my lower right jaw......

.....that's right, kids, my face is swelling up again and my dentist is in Vermont! (he either has way too much free time on his hands or his junior-in-high-school daughter is looking at UVM)

He called in a prescription for another antibiotic. I can't take e-mycin because it makes my head spin round and I puke yellow bile with red-and-white spots. (which might have been the pill, actually.) So instead he put me on flagyl.

What the hell, dude? Flagyl is like, antibiotics on steroids. They give you flagyl when you have giardia. They give you flagyl when you have flesh-eating bacteria that is trying to take your face off.

Oh, wait.

So, yeah. And I'm leaving the pharmacy counter when I get this gem of advice: "NO ALCOHOL. Seriously. None. You'll puke. A lot. I've done it. It's awful. So don't drink."

Whaaaaaat? A weekend in June when the limes are ripe and my parents aren't around? And I can't drink???

Nope. Apparently not even the communion wine (the pharmacy tech happens to go to my parents' church, so she actually was very thoughtful to bring that up. Not that I go all that often, but it wouldn't even have occurred to me.)

Um.......seriously. What......theeee......hell? Apparently my pain tolerance is too high, because there's no way this should have gotten where it did before it started to hurt. In the meantime, here's hoping they don't have to drain the abscess again, since apparently, you know, there still is one, and everything. In the meantime, I'll just be sitting here, impersonating my very tubby-faced cat Daphne:

( )

The good news? There's less pain the more it swells. Wait. Is that really good news? Anyway, I'm down to two Advil before bedtime and two when I wake up in the morning. Much better than four Advil every four hours.

The bad news? Have I mentioned the part about no wine?

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