07 October 2008

Dear Senator McCain:

I am not your "friend." Kindly refrain from addressing me as such, or else I shall have to assume that, much like your party's predecessor, you are simply ignoring my (daily increasing) segment of the population. Might not be a bad tactic, come to think of it; we are royally pissed off after eight years of being ignored, not to mention it seems to have worked well for George W.

But anyway. If I were given the opportunity to ask a question, it would be this: why do you keep wandering around like a geriatric golden retriever whilst Senator Obama is speaking? Myndi just emailed me from Chicago wondering the same thing, and I suggested to her that it's your prostate. Perhaps you're pacing like that to distract yourself from thinking about how badly you have to pee. Either that or you've lost your dentures.

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