In Very Few Words, the Ever-Talented FireCat Once Again Demonstrates How Difficult Daily Life Can Sometimes Be for People Without Brains

Ladies (and gentlemen, for that matter), please do not attempt this at home. I am a trained professional.

Step One:

"Ass Kisser is a pain-relieving solid massage salve for all the damage you do to your body. It is strongly warming and comforting for bruises, strains, sprains, & most other aches and pains."

Step Two:

"o.b. is the only tampon in the U.S. that doesn't have an applicator. In fact, with o.b., your index finger is the only applicator you need."

I believe Step Three needs no further explanation.